at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
