Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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