How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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