his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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