so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
