xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Rumble strips road head = magical
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
