did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish there were birth control emojis
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I love you. Go after that dick
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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