theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
