people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
