did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
