Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
