Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it because I queefed?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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