You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
vagina is talking i cant
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
