Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
