I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
