Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't put those talents on a resume
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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