Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
