I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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