The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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