Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
