No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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