what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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