Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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