i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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