I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
