when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
