i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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