youre lurking in front of me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
