They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
no, he came in my armpit
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
