I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
