I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize