My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize