I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
