you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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