does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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