This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico