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Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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