I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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