Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???