the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
