can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
