it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
