But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
