I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Two words: nipple clamps
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