I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fuck appropriateness.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
