Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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