Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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