Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I need to stop coming to work sober
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
