is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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