This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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