i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize