he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
