Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
