Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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