I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
