she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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