11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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