I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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