Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
