nut hugger
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even my vagina gasped.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
