I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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