Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
