I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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