i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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