I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize