"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
