why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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