There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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