He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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