Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
